"Blur, everything's a blur.
Unclear, there's a fog in my Brain.
I can't sift through my own thoughts.
Which ones are pretence, Which ones are mine.
I lose myself, the minute I'm Abused.
Is there no way out of this mental mess.
I am tired of my brain, it feels heavy; no amount of asprin will help.
I need a break from all the breaks; these breaks never help either.
How long before I fit in?
How long before I am comfortable being in my own skin?"
I wrote this poem in the dead of the night and I didn't have any paper to write on. Again, letting go of my previously held notion that technology kills creativity. I believe, as for now atleast, that a poem as a product appears as a result of your thoughts. So whenever I read a friend's poetry, I ask what they were thinking about. So, when my friend asked me, "So, what were YOU thinking when you wrote this poem.?", I replied, "Precisely what I've written." At this age, everyone is constantly battling their own demons and no one knows where they stand. Your religious, political and social views will change from what they are today, we are told. But why wait for later. Why can't we accept them as permanent and move on with life? Then there are our own personal beliefs that need to be "rectified" by someone else. It is all too overwhelming for now, isn't it?
Gosh! You read my mind sometimes, girl. You know why I love this poem? It's because it is beautifully confusing. I find solace in the confusion.
ReplyDeleteIt's so difficult to accept that some changes need a whole lot of time and many of these so called radical thoughts that are been shoved down our thought pipe are so in vain if we give a 3D thought to it. But then you are presented with another view and yet again you find yourself in level zero.
Yet, oddly enough, the whole trip, with or without the aspirin, is worth it.
P.S. I hope I'm making sense in some odd way.
The afterthought made me read the poem in a very different light. One of the best poems I've read in ages.
I totally make sense of it. And you made my day. Thanx!
ReplyDeleteI agree, the total trip makes it totally worth it. We need those kind of days that will make us think about our position. And I love the position we are in. We can be anything we want and no one accepts anything of us right now. And then there are the downfalls of occasional bouts of insecurity. But as you said, it is all "beautifully confusing." :D
Confusion and complexity are the two best things that could happen to humans - because that is what they lead us out from, and that is what they lead us into too!
ReplyDeleteYou are blessed with a thinking mind. Just make sure you keep the kid and the philosopher in your mind alive always! The two make the best combination and give great poems like these; singularly they cannot produce anything so great. :) :)
It means a lot coming from you. Really.
ReplyDeletethis is so confusing!!! how the hell did u even come up with it?? i shud probably as srividya to analyse it for me!!!
ReplyDeleteDoll, Sreevidya won't have enough to make the real meaning out of the poem. She will make a mess of it. :D
ReplyDelete